Dark but hilarious (c:

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

New Items in Stores NOW!!!

So I found these extraordinary items in stores in Kuwait and I was wondering if there is actually a physical and moral excuse to their presence:

• At a hardware store, True Value, I found a fold in three mat to place under a car's tires to help it out of the snow. Well as far as I know, snow is unheard of in Kuwait; if it ever happened and some hail came down, I don't think it would've ever gotten to the extent of piling up and burying a car under!
  
• In Marks and Spencer I found a "same sex civil marriage" greeting card!!! Even if a lot of people are coming out in this part of the world, which I doubt since it is illegal, where exactly did they get a license for a civil marriage, also non-existent in Kuwait??!!!

Funny, no?

Trapped in KUWAIT

So my vacation was not half as bad as I expected it to be, actually it was great I must say. I had two full weeks of following the Kuwaiti scene one-on-one. It is interesting to report that so many changes had taken place, yet nothing has really changed at all!
Whatever I'm going to be spilling in the few following lines is not really complaining, instead those lines will act as notes to self of what I've noticed during my extended vacation in Kuwait. (yes, a vacation in Kuwait, please don't laugh!)

1. More than ever Kuwaiti girls are maintaining some kind of uniform, or style or whatever they call it, I guess to pinpoint each other without much trouble. (telling if you're Kuwaiti or not) Well, I don't want to be mean, at least for the sake of one Kuwaiti who I'd never would wish to offend, but seriously it is just plain funny. Basically they have a huge Hijab-do, I'm sure covering up a great hair-do underneath the veil, high on the center as if they are having a covered-up chignon. They also tend to wear the same exact veil material with different colors, it's basically a solid color material with sparkling beads on one edge! The way they pin it on is exactly the same. Kind of a 1984 deja-vu. RIP Orwell!!!
2. It's 8 AM and all the girls are wearing makeup fit for a wedding party!!! I wonder when do they have to wake up in the morning to fix their faces!! (I remember my professional makeup session took a full hour by the makeup artist and it still looked pale in comparison to the kind of makeup I see here)
   
3. For those who used to insist for some weird reason that I look Kuwaiti, I blame my eyebrows, rest assured I'm 100% sure that I don't look like one any more (c; (Yaaaaaayyyy me)
   
4. So 15 minutes to 1 PM I was running late to go pick up something from the store before the mall closes for lunch time. The parking lot is packed, and I noticed that 2 Kuwaiti girls are heading for their car. (remember you can spot Ks and K-nots) So I back up a little to make way for her to take her car out and I go in. I wait for 7 full minutes and nothing happens, not even the ignition starting. So I decide to leave looking for another spot thinking that they might be waiting for somebody. So right after I leave, I look in the rear-view mirror, and I see her leaving the spot. (Suddenly it hits me that I didn't look like a K, and hence I don't deserve the honor of her leaving me the parking spot) Funny, is it not? Well it didn't really anger me, surprisingly, probably because I was just on time right before the store and the mall closed, but I just can't grasp how would someone take it so seriously to act in such a away. All I felt at that moment was this exactly: يا حرام.
5. Based on points 1, 2, and 4, I have for the first time get a first hand taste of pure racism that I didn't even feel in Europe despite my headdress!!! Of course, if you know me well, you will know that أنا مش بسكوت و حعرف أخد حقى. That's true, it came by coincidence walahy, but the mom ya haram tries to make me speak French by speaking French to me and urging me to reply back in French too. So wherever we go we speak in French as usual, we noticed that this makes Ks very uncomfortable and self-conscience because:
   a. they don't get a word of what we're saying
   b. they can't guess to which nationality do we belong
   c. they think we are making fun of them in French (LOL! و الله ابداً, though it's very tempting)
   So they end up treating us really nicely, win-win; again I feel: يا حرام.
6. Tab3an we know how much Ks love Egyptians! (yeah rightttt!) Well those who go to dear old Egypt come back with the worst memorabilia from there: driving style and manners! For the first time since I started driving, I notice that people here in Kuwait sometimes بيكسروا عليا, tonight I was surprised with a dude taking two lanes و موسطن نفسه على خط الحارة, and finally الفايق الرايق إلي بينشن عليا و يأسدنى وراه. Thankfully not many go to Egypt, but mashalla their impact is screaming out there in the streets; again: يا حرام.
   

I'm still hanging around here for sometime, because of the trap, so there should be more updates to these insights I believe. GTG take some rest...
Ta Ta